Sunday, June 20, 2010

Your mandatory guide to being a profitable citizen

The article "Pitfalls of credit reports" touches on many points that everybody suspected for while:

"While this does punish profligate spending on credit, it also discourages full payment of debts. The FICO score increases if a cardholder keeps spending on credit, paying the minimum balance and taking as long as possible to pay off the full amount."

Translation:
It is your duty to maintain maximal profitability. You are to be in a constant state of debt, not so much that you can't repay it, but enough so you keep on paying until you die.

Failure to comply will result in harsh punishments: Existing loans and mortgages will jump in costs. Getting a job will be a lot harder.

Thank you for complying.

Should you have any complaint, feel free to call the automated help system, where you can leave a message. It's extremely unlikely that a human will ever take the time to listen to it, and nearly impossible to get action taken on it.

"There is, however, one way to ensure that a complaint is viewed in detail: According to the TransUnion employee handbook, politicians, legal workers, professional athletes and entertainment celebrities are to be given special treatment."

Translation:
If you are important enough, we might listen you. Or if we really think you may sue us.

Personally, I think I am going to try telling them that I am a lawyer.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Apple needs a new porn filter!

Not so long a The Steve himself declared that all porn applications are banished from the app store.
You know, it's a moral "OMG THINK OF THE CHILDREN" thing.   We wouldn't want Apple to be thought of as peddling porn!

Then there is this:


Yes, good old playboy still has their app.  There is no way this is by accident:
  • Playboy is the "eircar test" of porn blocking.  IT geeks type "www.playboy.com" in a browser whenever they want to test if the "nannyware" system that HR made them install, is actually working.  what Coca-cola is to soda, Playboy is to porn.
  • It has a 7+ rating
  • It warns for "Frequent/Intense Sexual Content or Nudity".  
  • There's "feed Africa"-sized cleavage on the main screenshot

Shame on you Steve.  You tricked me.  You told me that the appstore was safe!  Now my innocence is lost forever.

While on the subject, can anybody explain to me why looking at mammary glands on my iPhone is bad when those pixels are generated by an application, while they are perfectly OK when watched in full motion video:



Anybody?

Thursday, June 3, 2010

The futility of data analysis

Just saw this on one of my favorite sites:


How to Encrypt and Hide Your Entire Operating System from Prying Eyes:


Over the years, we've written about loads of different ways to hide and encrypt your private data from others, but if you're really serious about protecting your data, you can actually hide your entire operating system. Here's exactly how to do it.

To accomplish this task, we'll be using TrueCrypt, our favorite free and open-source disk encryption software that runs on all platforms, supports hidden volumes, and can even encrypt your entire hard drive."

In short, these are easy to follow instructions on getting a fully hidden OS on your system, protected by industrial grade encryption. And it includes a fully functional"decoy OS", so when somebody puts a (legal) gun to your head, you can give them a second password, and have a totally believable alternative to your real installation.


This has been possible for quite a while now, but seeing it explained in easy-to-follow steps on a mainstream site is another tipping point passed.



Game, set, match.


Can somebody explain to me why we still have laptop inspections in airports?  Does anybody believe that any TSA agent is going to be able to discover this system?