Dear Apple affiliate team, I hate you because....

Dear Apple affiliate team, I hate you because of one or more of the following reasons:

• The massacre in Ruwanda
• Leaving the toilet seat up
• Sending rejection letters that are beyond useless
• Turtlenecks
• That scratch on my car door
• Eating the last twinkie

I may also hate you if:

• You drank all the beer in the fridge without asking